As we waited for our table we saw an elderly Chinese lady also anticipating to be seated. Making conversation, we asked if she was expecting someone. A melancholy look passed her face as she told us, no, her husband had died a year ago and she now lived with her daughter’s family. Her daughter worked late so she decided to come to the restaurant to have dinner. My husband, John, and I commented on how alone she seemed on the day designated for lovers.

When we finished the meal, John motioned to the waiter to come to our table. He pointed discreetly to the frail woman sitting at a small table up against the wall and whispered, “Please add her check to ours.”

What a pleasure it was for me to savor how surprised this little widow lady would be when when she realized her bill had been paid. My husband is very generous and that night I felt proud he was not only my Valentine but made another lady’s Valentine’s Day a little less lonely. I know he’d kill me if he knew I‘d posted this because he never makes a big deal out of his big-hearted actions, but more than a large box of chocolates or a shiny pair of earrings, his  kind gesture really made my day.

Do you have a Valentines Day story? I’d love for you to share it.

-Carol

-Carol

What am I giving out? …my heartfelt thanks for your support this year. You have no idea how a little click of your computer’s mouse, and a few typed words can hearten this author.  I send my electronically typed squiggles out into cyberspace hoping they will do their “duty” and encourage. I have no idea if they will. But when I get a word back that I really helped someone sell a house, or motivate them to follow a writing dream, it makes my day (and not in the Clint Eastwoodesque sort of way).  And for those who shared their moving stories, thank you for letting others know they can survive and thrive a relocation.

Writing is a lonely pursuit and as a people person I sometimes wonder if I’m well suited to the isolation.  But I try to follow the Voice I hear in my life. Years ago at a writing conference I heard a small voice in my head telling me to “pursue joy and comfort people”.  It didn’t say, “become a novelist”, or “write children’s books”. It didn’t mention pursuing a career in journalism. It didn’t even use the word “write”. God just stamped a mysterious comment on my brain for me to unravel and figure out.

This Christmas season I hope you will unravel the path He has for you as you experience comfort and joy.

I’ve shared one of my favorite Christmas carols that expresses the possibilities of comfort and joy of Christ in our lives, not only now but all year.  2012 was a rough year for many, but my words to all of us are:  “Let nothing you dismay”.

Circa 1760 (from “Three New Christmas Carols,” Printed and Sold at the Printing-Office on Bow Church-Yard, London):

God rest you merry, Gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay,
For Jesus Christ our Savior
Was born upon this Day.
To save poor souls from Satan’s power,
Which long time had gone astray.
Which brings tidings of comfort and joy.

“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, ‘The LORD has done great things for them.’”

“A cheerful heart is like medicine.” -Proverbs 17:22

Recently a friend sent me this funny quote from a church bulletin: “Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.”

Pretty funny… but with enough truth to make you think. We who have been in a church community for a while may not realize that some people might be sick of the church! Do we have a reputation of only reporting gloom and doom? Are we convinced people are hard to love where it might be we who are hard to love?

When our church community becomes nothing but a cozy bubble, we turn the church into nothing more than a suffocating place where we can complain and use our inside jokes on each other. That comfortable feeling can put up walls for newcomers and a message that says, “Don’t bother breaking into our group.”

Christ’s community should always be reaching outward. We who have found a new life in Christ should become the most winsome of people. If we reoriented our attitudes and filled them with the Holy Spirit we might be shocked at how many would like to hear our message. Who wouldn’t like to be around happy, joyful people who have a sense of humor? If we offer only deadly dull or harried hyped-up communities of worship, we will be closing the door to those who are searching.

Today, let’s not take ourselves and our family and our church so seriously. Laugh when a teenager says something crazy. Tell a story on yourself. Show the world you are human and a Christian.

Authenticity is what the world is looking for. And as an extra bonus you’ll be healthier.

Taken from: Finding Community Wherever You Are devotional book to be published in 2012 by Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas.

Ever curious about your town? What is the average income, education, or length of time your neighbors own their home? How about racial demographics and maritial demographics? Do your fellow citizens work mainly in construction, farming or management? How much water or land density is in your zip code? How about age groups?  Check out Zipskinny for a very detailed view of your area. This fascinating website will teach you a thing or two about your hometown as well as comparing it to the average national statistics.

The website is www.zipskinny.com. Have fun!

Here’s the article:

http://finance.yahoo.com/real-estate/article/113734/best-cities-car-free-247

Hiccups by Mollie Bond

Cool, confident, collected.I kept repeating the words as I tried to pull open the door to my new job.And then, hiccup.I know when my nerves kicks in, so do the hiccups.Still, I kept moving forward.Unfortunately I smacked right into a locked door.Hiccup! I found the black phone attached to the wall to make an overhead page so someone would let me in.What exactly do you say?“Uh, I’m Mollie, I’m new.Can someone let me…hiccup!”

It seems I forget the details during moves.Then, I get nervous but I don’t know it until the hiccups start.This particular move I had started packing weeks in advance, so the day of the move was less stressful.In my cleverness I packed too many essentials too early and I couldn’t find everything. “I’m doing good!” I said to my cat Charlie as I packed out each corner with some underwear, “What a space saver I am!” The problem is, each box has underwear in it, and some of those boxes are still at my parents house.While I’m at it, if I could do it over, I would not have put the white lace underwear inside the dirty coffee mug.

I have a friend who is organized in her packing.She numbers each box, and puts a star sticker on it when it is done.The sticker is color-coordinated to a room, and the number is listed on an excel spreadsheet that is printed off and stuck in clear plastic protectors.Each number has the room the box belongs in, it’s contents, and any special notes, like “open first” or “breakables.”I wonder if I could use those plastic protectors to protect my underwear against coffee stains next time?

I felt them coming as I packed my little blue compact car, hic…hic…hiccup! My friend brought his large SUV, which I also packed to the bursting brim.  Each car had a walkie-talkie and that was amazing.  However, my friend does not own a cell phone, so we only had my cell phone.  When he missed the exit, the walkie-talkies were useless since they were out of range.  I sat in my cramped car at a hotel parking lot smelling the cardboard boxes. I hoped he would turn around and find the exit. I faced the traffic light, repeating directions.  Everyone who was on that channel could hear the same thing over and over.  I hiccupped while I looked at the only cell phone, the only map, the only GPS unit, and the only written location of the hotel sitting on center console.  My friend found me, and with a shrug said, “I got close enough to hear the directions, but had to turn off the walkie-talkie.  I couldn’t understand anything past the hiccups.  Besides, I was filling up at that gas station across the street.”

The next hiccup occurred when paying for my medications.  I had planned on ordering them at the local pharmacy before moving so that I had a supply to back me up while I looked for a new pharmacy in the new city. I procrastinated. It cost me triple what I usually paid, details that would have avoided more hiccups.  On the other hand, I made sure I was caught up on other appointments before leaving, like that important hair cut and color, a dental checkup and a medical check-up.  Maybe the doctor can help with these hiccups.

I find that my major hiccups, and the situations that resulted in those hiccups, are much better to handle with a plan.  So plan for the unplanned.  Have extra of everything and a phone close by in each vehicle and a GPS app for it.  Take extra underwear, even if you don’t get it into labeled boxes with special stickers and plastic protectors.  Then you will be cool, calm, and collected if the hiccups arrive.

Lanie’s Story:

When I realized that we were truly moving across the water after our wedding, the tears started flowing freely. I realized that life as I know it was over. I knew the Lord opened the doors for me and Adriaan to come to the States and I wanted to be in His will, always. I saw Adriaan’s coming as a ‘scouting out the land’ like the spies that went to Canaan. He did a great job and immersed himself in the people and culture here. When I came to visit he was ready and bent down on his knees in the Chicago snow to ask me to marry him.

I was bawling with my “surprise” wedding shower. I cried partly from thankfulness that the Lord gave me such a special guy, but also from sadness because I’d be leaving every special person at that party and knew I might not see them again.

It was a step of faith and the Lord really did provide for us. Back in Chicago Adriaan found our church and instead of hanging around with other South Africans, he went to the singles group. He was still learning to speak and think in English. I’m so proud of him, that even within the adjustment, he bit the bullet and spent all his time with other Americans and learned their ways.

He reached out and was loved by the church’s singles group. He even was given furniture and a car to borrow! He made it clear that he has a girlfriend and showed everyone pictures of me, but stayed committed to make friends and reach out to build a new  network of friends.

For me, the hardest thing was not to come here as a newlywed. It actually was a wonderful bonding experience for us. It was to get used to American humor and customs.

I learned how to be dependent on the Lord, as I showed new acquaintances they can trust me to be a friend.

The most important lessons I learned was: depend on the Lord, serve, reach out to others, and you will be rewarded!

What can you say about the cruelest tragedy ever to overtake this great country? Who can a person even begin to make sense of the aeronautic bomb rammed into the Twin Towers, workers fleeing Manhattan like third world refugees, family and friends begging the media to post a photo of their loved ones, the president near tears and the Pentagon in flames? People are stunned and yet want to talk about what happened. There’s a deep yearning to make sense of this as the media sort it all out as leaders offer a clarion call for patriotism. We fasten flags to our cars, houses, bikes, and clothing and light candles for unity. We stand in line to donate blood. We write checks to help the victims while we ourselves feel like victims.

And even as we work hard to resurrect the life we knew only two weeks ago, there is a quiet little voice asking us if there is not another voice we have not heard.

New York City store owners hand out sensible shoes to high-heeled women hiking the pavement. Restaurant owners pass out sandwiches and bottled water. A firefighter is rescued and receives an IV only to go back to work after consuming a peanut butter sandwich. Life doesn’t get any nobler. Heroes are created hourly as so many respond to the grimmest life has to offer.

So what is happening to the human heart as the work continues? I see a collective softening of our national and individual souls as the drama plays out.

Spiritual values once buried as deep as the basement of the World Trade Center itself, are now being resurrected like the proverbial phoenix.

Like never before we plead God’s mercy on our country as we turn back to our Christian roots. We know if we are honest with ourselves, just how far we have walked away from our operating beliefs. We now need to come clean and be honest about it. The sorrow we feel is a drop in the ocean of God’s own agony as he views this atrocity.

But His joy has no bounds when we turn on our heels and head back home.

Just as thousands of workers streamed out of Manhattan, headed for home, so we all need to turn back. As one radio commentator said a few days ago, “The only voice now is prayer.”

Carol Stratton

Wednesday Sept. 26, 2001

TheZionsville Times Sentinel

You may have a fabulous dream house, adorable kids, and a loving husband. You maybe esteemed and honored in the church where you attend. Your older kids are successful on their ball teams and make high grades in school.

What’s missing?

In our overly stressed, under nourished culture, a dear friend is to be highly prized. Proverbs 12:25 says, “An anxious heart weighs a man down but a kind work cheers him up.” I have experienced four crisis times where friends made all the difference.

• Kid trouble: I talked to an older friend who reassured me my kids are just going through a phase.
• Moving Blues: a card waiting for me at my new residence reminded me I didn’t have to live in the same town to continue our friendship.
• My 911 friend: I could call her when I had teenage children problems. Need I say more?
• My Identity crisis: I had a sister in Christ remind me that the world says you must “do something” but Christ says we must “be” something. That simple statement really freed me.

A good friend is worth more than $2,000 gift certificate to Ann Taylor, a trip to Hawaii, and a postgraduate degree. She will help you navigate through the canyons of modern life without falling off the cliff.

How do you find this treasure: I have asked myself this for years as I have moved over twenty times and often find myself starting from square one…? I discovered some suggestions that helped me meet new friends and ramp up some casual relationships into dear friends.

1. Look for friends in all age groups. Some of the dearest friends I’ve ever had are at least twenty years older than me. The stability of another generation offers a comfort not found in friends that are struggling with problems in our own peer group. I remember my mother-in-law always there for me. Left with three little children 3 &1/2 and under while my husband traveled, I often had too much imagination left on my brain during the day—– and imagination turned to worry and anxiety during the night. A quick call and a confident answer from my mother-in-law .put me back on the happy mommy track. A good perspective from an older woman is the best vitamin a young mother can have. I still miss her after all these years but her advice and staunch belief in Jesus Christ is burned into my heart.
2. Look for fun friends. Recently after a writers’ conference, I spent a few moments with a greeting card writer. What started out with a casual conversation evolved into a laugh fest. We both have a little A.D.D. and told funny stories on ourselves. We must have laughed for twenty minutes straight. I want to continue that friendship! Another friend and I were at a conference and started telling stories about our families. We were having such a good time at lunch that people kept stopping by our table and asking if they could join us. Scripture is right on when it says in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like medicine.”
3. Look for friend who have the same heart for ministry that you do. It’s exciting to discover that someone else shares the same burden that you do for a certain population or cause. At a recent conference a woman who writes about the martyred church found a kindred spirit who was tracking with her. She didn’t need to explain her passion, her new friend got it.
4. Look for consistency. Friends who keep you even when you move around a lot like I do (over twenty times) show commitment. Hang onto them!
5. Look for friends in unusual places. Because I have moved a lot, I have made friends with some of our realtor. They know the community and are usually outgoing and friendly I’ve also found friends at Starbucks, and bookstores.
6. Be friendly and approachable. Once, my husband confronted me about my depressed countenance. He told me my attitude scared away potential friends. Wow, that hurt. I wanted to tell him I’d be happier if I had some close friends. Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way.I had to do a quick attitude adjustment. Pity parties are fun but you are the hostess and the only guest. Last time I checked a party is fun and involves several people. As hard as it is to dig yourself out of the pit and pretend you are happy, it is more fruitful. If your goal is to have good friends, you may need to have a serious talk with yourself. I did and it paid off.
7. Be assertive: If you see someone you click with, give them a call. If they turn you down, don’t take it too seriously.  Give it a couple more tries before you move on.
8. Look for places to meet new people.

• Bookstores: they have reading groups
• Starbucks, on a regular basis. I had
• Knitting Clubs from a knitting store
• PTO and school volunteer opportunities
• Meet-up.com
• Gyms: I’ve met very friendly gals at Curves
• Neighborhood associations: maybe you can do the block party this year

Making friends takes tenacity and determination in this era of overscheduled families. But what is more important, having a clean house, seeing everyone one of your child’s ball games l (I know, this is a shocking statement), having a toned body from daily workouts, having a fabulous career or having a few good friends. Short of your relationship with God, and your family, true friends will get you through life with joy and fun. And, isn’t that what the modern woman is missing?