If you’re looking for a way to help people, look no further than this blog. Americans move an average of once every eight years so it’s easy to find a newcomer within your community. September is an especially opportune month for helping those newbies in your community as the new school year begins.

Here are some tips to find newcomers who would love a friendly smile

1)      Ring the doorbell on the door where a moving van is parked. A quick “Hi, welcome to the community,” is enough for those directing furniture in their house. If you are really brave and live nearby, leave your email address or a phone number for any questions about the community. …Go ahead, be brave and bold!

2)      Talk to the teachers in your child’s class. See if anyone has moved recently. Then, teach your child how to show hospitality by talking to that new kid and including them in any group plans. (Do I hear an over-stressed, newly relocated mother in the background weeping and crying, “Yes,”?).

3)      Direct newcomers to www.ChangingZipCodes.com especially to the article,

     A Remodeled Life. It’s the times of upheavls that make us think about our values in life.  Yes, this is an unabashed plug but it’s all for a good cause, helping newcomers adjust to a community.

I need lots of volunteers to join this army of encouragers. Please sign up and help. No dues required, no junk mail, sent and I don’t sell your phone number.  I have you on my email list because you have been supportive of this website in the past. Thanks for being there!

Special Note: I will have some personal stories from women who have recently moved and want to share their stories. Watch for PeggySue, and Laura in future blogs. These talented, professional writers have their own insights into the moving game.

One problem with moving: you often have to change friends. I have been fortunate to have kept a few close ones as I follow the moving van to another city or state. Good buddies are hard to find so hang on to them. If they are true friends, they’ll be there. Otherwise, they weren’t that committed to the friendship and it’s just as well you find out.

This month I’m writing about my two 911 friends who showed up during those difficult teenage parenting years. I don’t see them much as they live in another state but they are always there for me. Distance makes it a little more difficult to keep things going but it’s worth the effort. For those who have moved, I encourage you to keep those well worn (worn, in a good way) friendships going.

The following is a piece I wrote for the Forsyth Woman magazine blog, 7/09.  The magazine blog is a fun read no matter where you live. (wwww.forsythwoman.com/blog).

Having a 911 Friend

In our overly-stressed, under-nourished culture, a dear friend is highly prized. A good friend may get you through life with a smile and a friendly couch where you can occasionally perch. And a 911 friend… well, she can save your life!

When I had four children at home, three teenagers were teenagers at the same time. I needed a 911 friend.  A 911 friend is someone you can call when you child doesn’t come home by 1:00 AM, gets kicked off of the football team because the coach found marijuana in their school locker and is flunking their favorite subject in school and may not graduate. (Note: If you haven’t parented the teenage years or your children are solid citizens and honor students, read no further).

My friends Marge and Chris showed up in my life just in time. They always called back if I left an urgent message. They never condemned my children or acted shocked. Both understood the nature of the teenage beast and reassured me my children would not end up in jail or flunk out of school. They spoke the voice of reason when my house was filled with teenage hormones and midnight meltdowns. Both, themselves mothers of four children, steadied my ups and downs as I guided my children through the treacherous path to adulthood… And when things did get dark, they cheered me on.  And guess what? Our family survived those years and I now have four wonderful adult children.

Everyone needs a few 911 friends. Do you have one who won’t criticize or judge your parenting? Do you have a girlfriend who reminds you “this too shall pass?”  If you do then you are“blessed” women. If you don’t, then consider becoming one to someone else struggling through life.

January 15th, 2009

Pat moved to a new state and a new town, Wayne, Illinois. Hopeful for new friends, she waited  daily for someone to knock on her door and welcome her to her new home. Days passed without a single person to acknowledge her presence in the neighborhood.  Finally a few years later she met a woman who invited her to a Bible study. Intrigued by something special she saw in this woman, she visited the group. At the study she met someone else, her Heavenly Father and life changed.  She found a new purpose for her life. Pat created a program called “Welcome to Wayne”.
Pat Schiltz explains in her own words:

“Over a 22 year period I have had the privilege and pleasure of welcoming more than 1000 new families to Wayne with useful information about our community.Included are a map of Wayne and a neighborhood map specific to the newcomer’s location, a private Wayne Directory of names + addresses + phone number, some history about our village, and additional information on local organizations.  Also available is a list of babysitters, and “Garden Gatherings” in the summer for Wayne women to get to know one another. My favorite part is networking each woman interested into knowing others in Wayne. The most exciting part for me was inviting women to “check out” our Bible study as a way of meeting other women in the community, even if they decided not to continue for long.However, most women did stay and many have come to know Jesus as their BEST friend!

Since 1987 this petite, energetic mother of two has welcomed one thousand families to Wayne, Illinois. Did you all catch that one—-ONE THOUSAND FAMILIES, 1,000 FAMILIES! How did she do it? One hand shake at a time. What power found by one woman taking a painful experience (loneliness) and turning it into a positive ministry for newcomers.

Most of us may not be able to become a one woman welcoming committee to every newcomer in town. What we can do, though, is to pick out one recent transplant and extend the hand of friendship. It take so little to change a community: a phone call, a ride, a batch of cookies. I encourage all my  readers to choose one newcomer to befriend in this new year of 2009. I don’t know about you, but as a veteran mover, I blinked back tears while reading Pat Schiltz’s story. I remember as a young mother looking high and low for a friendly face. I just wish I had moved to Wayne Illinois. I know I would have found a dear friend.

www.ChangingZipCodes.com salutes Pat Schiltz, a woman who nurtures the newcomer.  I’m sure she’ll have a place next to St. Peter when she welcomes many into heaven.
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Do you know someone doing an exceptional job welcoming and befriending newcomers. I’d love to hear your stories.

Yours for a good year,
a good move,
and a good hearty handshake to those “newcomers” in your life.
Love,
Carol

In the sixties, my parents would have cookouts on our patio with after dinner “make your own entertainment”. Included in the line-up, my father playing his guitar (ala the Kingston Trio) the older kids spinning hula hoops and everyone trying to do the new dance/ game called the Limbo.

The Limbo worked like this. Two volunteers would hold either side of a bar about three feet long, at about waist’s height. While the Caribbean music played, each Limbo participant would bend their body backwards, scooting their legs and bent torso under the bar. Guests would line up to go under the bar and after each turn, the bar went lower. If a player touched the bar with their shoulders or chest, they were disqualified.

Now Limbo, as a game is great fun. It breaks the ice and has people cheering on their fellow party guests. Unfortunately, limbo in life isn’t much of a party game. When we can’t sell our house, find a job or move from the place we live, that limbo frustration seeps in.

Bitterness often follows frustration. We ask: why didn’t we sell our house sooner? Why did we put so much money into remodeling the kitchen? Why did my company downsize just when I started? And the universal question: “What happened to my 401K? These questions are asked by many constantly as our country slogs through this recession.

Life Limbo, as painful as it seems, allows us to see the important things in life. Just like Limbo song asks the player, “How low can you go?” we want to scream, “No lower!” But soon standing mid-thigh in life’s crises we realize we can bend more than we dreamed. In Limbo-Land we learn to flex our rigid spending habits and see we don’t break. We can be happy with less money or a smaller house. We discover how a marriage can weather the unemployment storm with the relationship still intact. Resilience, an underrated quality can take a person a long way in life.

I, as a practicing Christian (and I do mean I’m still practicing) have gone through two years of the Limbo Dance. Due to several job changes we’ve had a bit of a nomadic life. After going through the gauntlet of anger, depression, self introspection and apathy, I’ve finally come out from under the limbo pole. I figure God will give us his game plan for the next few steps as soon as I stop fussing and realize He is raising and lowering the bar. I’d love to keep the bar high so I don’t strain while going underneath. But He knows I can bend and become a more flexible disciple for His kingdom. A life of ease isn’t the name of the game when you sign your life over to Him. A life of meaning is. When we sign up to be disciples of Jesus, we sign on to make our life count for something dearer than comfort.

My challenge for myself and my readers (whether we are changing zip codes or not) is to recognize the temporariness of tribulations. Be of good cheer: the Limbo Dance won’t last forever and we can come out the other end a different person, more usable and flexible for Jesus!